7:00 P.M. Opening flag burning.
7:15 P.M. Pledge of Allegiance to the United Nations.
7:30 PM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
7:30 P.M. Nonreligious prayer and worship:
Jessie Jackson and Al Sharpton.
8:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:05 P.M Ceremonial tree hugging.
8:20 P.M. Showing of "The Silent Scream" to give the audience
something to cheer at!
8:30 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
8:35 P.M. Free Saddam Rally: Cindy Sheehan, Susan Sarandon.
9:00 P.M. Keynote speech: "The Proper Etiquette for Surrender",
French President Jacques Chirac.
9:15 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:20 P.M. Collection to benefit Osama Bin Laden
Kidney Transplant Fund.
9:30 P.M. Unveiling of plan to free freedom fighters from
Guantanamo Bay: Sean Penn.
9:40 P.M. Why I hate the Military: A short talk by
William Jefferson Clinton.
9:45 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
9:50 P.M. Dan Rather receives "Truth in Broadcasting" award,
presented by Michael Moore.
9:55 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
10:00 P.M. Presentation: "How George Bush and Donald Rumsfeld
brought down the World Trade Center Towers",
10:30 P.M. Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton for President
by Mahmud Ahnadinejad.
11:00 P.M. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
11:05 P.M. Al Gore reinvents the Internet.
11:15 P.M. "Our Troops are War Criminals",
presented by John Kerry.
11:30 P.M Coronation of Mrs. Hillary Rodham Clinton.
12:00 AM. Ted Kennedy proposes a toast.
12:05 A.M Bill asks Ted to drive Hillary home