THE REPUBLICAN PARTY
THE AMERICAN DREAM"
It's Friday, Christmas is almost here and I'm in a merry ole mood. So for your reading pleasure more jokes about our French cousins, those cheese-eating surrender monkeys:
"France has neither winter nor summer nor morals. Apart from these drawbacks it is a fine country. France has usually been governed by prostitutes."
"I would rather have a German division in front of me than a French one behind me."
--General George S. Patton
"Going to war without France is like going deer hunting without your accordion."
--General Norman Schwartzkopf
"We can stand here like the French, or we can do something about it."
"As far as I'm concerned, war always means failure.""The only time France wants us to go to war is when the German Army is sitting in Paris sipping coffee."
--Jacques Chirac, President of France
"As far as France is concerned, you're right."
--Regis Philbin "The last time the French asked for 'more proof' it came marching into Paris under a German flag."
"Only thing worse than a Frenchman is a Frenchman who lives in Canada ."
"War without France would be like .. World War II."
"What do you expect from a culture and a nation that exerted more of its national will fighting against Disney World and Big Macs than the Nazis?"
"It is important to remember that the French have always been there when they needed us."
"They've taken their own precautions against al-Qa'ida. To prepare for an attack, each Frenchman is urged to keep duct tape, a white flag, and a three-day supply of mistresses in the house."
"Somebody was telling me about the French Army rifle that was being advertised on eBay the other day --the description was, 'Never shot. Dropped once.'"
--Rep. Roy Blunt, MO
"Do you know how many Frenchmen it takes to defend Paris ? It's not known, it's never been tried."
--Rep. R. Blount, MO
"Do you know it only took Germany three days to conquer France in WWII? And that's because it was raining."
--John Xereas, Manager, DC Improv
...and one more joke just to leave you on your merry way...
"Cinco de Mayo is a Mexican national holiday celebrating an important military victory over the French at the Battle of Puebla. Yet one more reason for Americans to adopt and celebrate this great Mexican holiday. Because if the French would have won, we'd have Frenchman jumping, running, and swimming across the border into the United States instead of Mexicans."
--Tito, CVSTOS FIDEI blogger